am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
