you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I stole a fireplace last night.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
