You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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