In the future we'll all be gay
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
