You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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