and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Randomize