I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
