okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
