I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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