Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
