Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
