That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
No...this little piggys going to the bar
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
