My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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