She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
