She announced her abortion via fbk
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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