I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
this just has baby written all over it
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
