I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
wat bout pragnant strippers??
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize