ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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