is your mom at the bar?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
