So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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