can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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