You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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