I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
