Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I wish life had little blips of pornography
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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