I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
