"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
