Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
