So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
