i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
