is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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