No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
