Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
