Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
