i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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