Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
