# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
