i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
