So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
