Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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