don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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