All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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