The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
