I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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