I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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