We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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