once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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