We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
