fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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