he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
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We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
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My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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