told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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