she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize