white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
