Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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