i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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