There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
