he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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