My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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